You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it glows. i had to have it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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