please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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