Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
