Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
