If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
