so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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