you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
