The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
