the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
