I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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