4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
