As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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