lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
where are my eyebrows?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
