That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
