He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
