i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
