If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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