I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize