She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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