Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
