her vagine was all disorganized.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
