Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
