yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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