you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love having hate sex.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
