I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
