Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
