Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i permit you to call me
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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