my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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