Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Alive.
So much puke
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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