is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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