32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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