I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
