My sheets look like a crime scene.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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