she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's the barista slut.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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