Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
