Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
