State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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