I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
