Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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