please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize