They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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