masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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