You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
