R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize