I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
