The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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