it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
