I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
