i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
