I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
