so explain again why im purple
no
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
