'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Drake has all the answers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
A bitchslap is in order.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
