the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
