He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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