Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
