How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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