my being single is dangerous.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
