i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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