Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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