Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
