he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize