whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
