that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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